You got out. You made it through the door. But standing outside the dark room does not feel like you expected. There is no immediate rush of freedom. No sudden clarity. In many ways, the days after leaving are harder than the days inside.
That is normal. And it does not mean you made the wrong decision.
The Fog Lifts Slowly
For weeks or months after leaving, you may feel disoriented. You have been operating in survival mode for so long that your nervous system does not know how to function without the threat. You may experience insomnia, anxiety, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, and an overwhelming urge to go back. This is withdrawal. It will pass.
You will also experience moments of sudden clarity where you see an interaction from your past and think, "That was not normal. That was not okay." These moments will continue for months, sometimes years. Each one is your brain reprocessing events through a lens that is no longer distorted by the predator's narrative.
What Recovery Looks Like
Recovery is not a straight line from pain to healing. It is a cycle. You will have good days where you feel strong and clear, followed by bad days where the grief, anger, or longing hits you like a wave. This is not regression. It is processing. Your brain needs to work through what happened to you, and it does that in waves.
You may grieve the relationship even though you know it was abusive. You are not grieving the predator. You are grieving the person you believed they were. You are grieving the future you thought you would have. That grief is legitimate and deserves space.
What Helps
Professional support from someone who understands narcissistic abuse, not a general therapist who will tell you to "try to see their perspective." Community with other people who have survived similar situations. Physical movement to help your body release stored trauma. Journaling to rebuild your relationship with your own thoughts. Scripture and prayer to rebuild your identity in Christ rather than in the predator's narrative.
Give yourself time. The damage took years to accumulate. It will not resolve in weeks. But it will resolve. The light comes back.
Phase 5 of the Dark Room Escape Protocol covers the full fortification and recovery process. For ongoing support, Dr. Hines offers private coaching for men rebuilding after abuse.